Adolescent Behavior

What is Normal? What is Dysfunctional?

Everyone knows that adolescence is a very hard time of life and teenagers are full of hormones that make them go a little “crazy” for a few years. We all know this is to be expected. One thing to understand is that it is an adolescent's job to start the process of growing up and preparing for life on their own. As a result a certain degree of rebellion is normal as a means to individuate from their family of origin. Well then, how can parents tell if their child is within the guidelines of what is considered normal adolescent rebelliousness and when does it become dysfunctional and unhealthy? How can parents decide when and if their child needs help versus stricter boundaries?

Here are a few basic tips that might help parents to identify some of the common warning signs:

•  First of all trust your gut and your intuition. No one knows your child as well as you do. If you suspect there might be a cry for help, then find a way to get your child some extra support.

•  Do you feel like you have lost contact with your child and who they are as a human being? There is a difference between being very busy and not seeing someone versus the gut feeling that you have lost contact to the degree that you do not even know who your child is any more.

•  Get to know your child's teachers and get regular reports about your child's performance at school. It is understandable to struggle with a subject, but what about their level of effort? If your child is simply not doing their homework on a regular basis that becomes a red flag for sure.

•  Is your child motivated to do well in order to receive special rights and privileges? If your child only gets angry and there is nothing left to take away, then there is a good chance that your teenager has moved out of what might be considered normal teenage behavior and rebellion.

•  Are you scared of your child and scared to set boundaries for them? Does your adolescent rule the house through fear and manipulation of what might happen if you say “no” to them? This is a sign of an improper balance of power and is an issue for the family system as a whole unit.

If after reading the above information, you feel concerned or are wondering what you can do to change some of these situations within your family, please contact Drake Counseling Services for a free consultation session. Find out how to get your adolescent and your family back on the right track!